What shot should I play? - Part 2
Just to recap on part 1 of this story, we have a golfer who thought he was "chicken" because he wasn't comfortable with the shot he knew he should play and so took a different club (one he was comfortable with) and hit a perfect shot down the middle of the fairway. Despite hitting a great shot, he was giving himself a hard time for being a "chicken".
So why didn't he feel he had played the right shot? These are a couple of reasons here. One is that he didn't want other people to think he was a chicken. He felt they'd know he had "chickened out". Well, in my mind that's a terrible reason to worry. Your aim in each and every shot in golf is to get the ball where you want it to go and it doesn't matter how you get it there and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. But most of us do worry what others will think; To seek approval is a natural instinct, BUT it doesn't pay to be allowing this emotion to take over when you're playing golf. You have to learn to focus on the logistics of the task in hand and banish competing emotions from your mind.
A second reason why he didn't feel he had played the right shot is that he was fighting frustration which had been building for some time; he had been getting increasingly more uncomfortable with those types of shots and the more he thought about it, the more unsure he was as he hovered over the shot...and yet he KNEW he could play that shot, he SHOULD be able to play that shot, and he KNEW that he should just take the club, make the shot and conquer his fears and frustrations...and so in not doing this he was a chicken (IN HIS MIND, NOT IN MINE).
To have played that shot in that state of mind would have been totally wrong. Golf is a game of confidence; the ball goes where your mind and your emotions are going. If one bit of you is thinking one thing, whilst another bit is thinking something different, the golf ball will also "be in two minds" and its flight will reflect it. Your frustrations and fears will be transmitted through your breathing, your grip, your tempo, rhythm and swing....and the ball will go where you in reality, deep down, EXPECTED the ball to go.
My friend, when we played, made the right choice, the bravest and cleverest choice. He played the shot he was confident with. This is all that matters. To play the shot which you are most confident will work is the one to choose, every time. It doesn't matter if it is the right shot technically speaking in a perfect world, if you see what I mean.
Another thing which many golfers do when they have lost confidence with a particular shot is to swap clubs; they buy a new toy! And sometimes this works. If you expect it to work for you it probably will...at least for a short period of time...and a short period of time is sometimes enough to regain your confidence with those shots. This, however, is not the best solution. Those clubs you had before DID work and they still do. It is all in your mind.
So what should you do when you're confidence is falling in relation to a particular shot or club?
You could go to the range and practice until you get comfortable once again. If this works, great, you've cracked it. If it doesn’t work or your confidence doesn't transfer onto the course, play a different shot which you are comfortable with. Don't play that shot whilst you feel uncomfortable with it. Leave that shot "in the bag" until the memory of fear and frustration has faded; then, one day, (fairly soon) you'll be on the course, you'll see that shot in your mind's eye, pull out the club and hit it perfectly once again.
The thing to avoid is making yourself play that shot (for fear of being called a "chicken") when you aren't confident, thereby creating more and more "BAD" shots to store up in your mind, thereby building the belief that you cannot hit that shot, creating an expectation that you cannot do it, and so on.
In golf, confidence is the key.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in golf hypnosis cds and hypnosis mp3 downloads.
What Shot Should I Play? - Part 1
In golf there is always a time when you know you should play a certain shot and yet you really don't feel comfortable about it. What should you do?
How many times have you stood on the fairway, hand hovering over your bag, knowing that you probably should play that high shot that cuts slightly through the wind...but you don't feel quite comfortable with it for no clear reason? And somehow a low shot with a different club is more appealing at that particular moment? Or perhaps you know that you should be using a four iron for that distance, but it doesn't feel right?
There are many different variations to this dilemma and I'm sure we have all experienced them from time to time. And the club or shot which concerns you as a golfer can change from day to day, week to week, month to month or year to year.
I have experienced it myself in extreme forms - not feeling comfortable with woods off the fairway for an entire season (ALL my woods; unable to feel that I could get them off the ground, but happy with them off the Tee, for some inexplicable reason!); and the following season not feeling comfortable with my irons (ALL of them, knowing that I could shank every shot with an iron with uncanny consistency!); and then as a feeling of comfort returned with both woods and irons, whether off Tee of fairway, and enjoying a feeling of relief flooding over me at the thought of all those extra shots I knew I could play, only to find that short irons had become uncomfortable...WHAT NOW?!
As you can tell, I'm an "all or nothing" kind of person, and some of you will relate to these types of experiences. Thank goodness, as my golf has got better (both technically and mentally) I no longer have seasons of concern with particular types of shots; Instead, it's just a vague feeling now and again that I'm just not comfortable with the shot which would be the best TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, to play in a particular situation.
In fact, the troubles I used to experience had become such a vague memory that I had almost forgotten what it felt like. What jogged my mind was going out to play a few holes with a friend, a good player, and him saying that he felt that he was being a chicken...that he should be playing a particular shot but wasn't comfortable with it, and so was hitting a different one instead. He chose his club, made a great shot, the ball pitched in the middle of the fairway, in perfect position for his second onto the green. And yet, there he was, unhappy; In his mind he was a "chicken" for not having taken the shot he felt would have been better technically.
In my mind he was both clever and brave and had made a great decision. He took the club he felt confident with, and played the shot he KNEW would work for him on that day, in those circumstances. He has the ability to manipulate his shots, to create many different shots and went with what he felt most confident with.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in golf hypnosis cds and hypnosis mp3 downloads.
Tips For Ladies Learning To Play Golf
Why do ladies and men's approaches to golf seem to differ so much? Of course, this is a generalization...but one always hears men harping on about this or that lady who "doesn't hit the ball that far", but it "stays on the fairway"; this accompanied by an intonation or expression which infers that it's not really fair, almost as if women cheat by not hitting it as hard or as far as the men - that it's not "proper" golf!
By comparison of course, you more often hear wonderful stories of the hugest slice or hook that this MAN hit, or the incredible distance this shot went...or the terrible tantrums such and such a man displays to all and sundry. I personally recall a wonderfully entertaining moment while playing with three gentlemen. One tees up on a relatively straight and open par 5, swishes his driver a few times and then grips his jaw in readiness for the strike, sending the ball three hundred yards straight left into a field of unsuspecting cows. The replacement ball, still hit with the same force (if not more), flies three hundred yards straight right; and one of my other playing partners commented that whilst both balls had travelled an enormous distance, there was still greater yardage between the points where they eventually came to rest! What a wonderfully entertaining game this is!
The fact is that women tend to, in general, be more cautious than men. And this is part of our genetic programming. Going back to "cave man" days, a man had more chance of survival if he displayed strength and power and so he had to take risks and go out and secure the food and other necessities for the survival of himself and his mate. The woman, on the other hand, learnt that it was better to be more cautious and relied on the man to look after her. Men in those earlier days were forced to compete whilst women learnt to be rather more submissive. The effect of this programming is evident in our genetic disposition in the current day.
If you watch young children you will see that boys are more inclined to take things apart, to see how things work, etc, whereas girls are more likely to ask to be shown what to do, and are more inclined to look after things in their present form instead to destroying them in the interests of curiosity.
Parents also encourage their children to learn to play in different ways and to perform gender specific roles. Different toys and games are provided depending on the gender and preconceived ideas of how a man should act or a woman should act is imposed upon the growing psyche. Thus we are not only genetically programmed but also conditioned through experience to learn, act and behave differently.
"Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" as the bestselling book is titled, and so it should come as no surprise that women and men approach the game of golf in unique gender specific ways. And, as those of you who have read past articles of mine will know I keep saying, everything in life starts with a thought; how you think about something and your mental approach and expectations will dictate your outcome. You play golf from the platform of you the person, you the woman or you the man.
When beginning to play this wonderful and challenging game, men are more likely to try different things, to explore, to try and work out how it works, to test boundaries and see how far they can hit the ball, how hard they can hit it and so on. Women are more likely to seek instruction and guidance, and to do as they are told. Men are more inclined to be competitive whilst women see it more as a game, a great walk, good company, a bit of exercise, etc. Again, I'm generalizing here, so please do not take offence.
Thus, in general, the advice I would give to a woman who is thinking about taking up this game, is to book a course of lessons with a good instructor. Don't listen to that really helpful guy who plays off 18 and thinks he knows the answer to every golfing problem - go to someone who has proven both his/her knowledge of the game and his/her ability to teach. That helpful guy probably does know what you need to know but he is probably not an expert in the art of teaching and passing on his knowledge. Make sure you are shown the right things in the right way. And, unless you have an unusually harmonious relationship with your husband, don't risk your marriage by getting him to show you how to play either!
Recognize that genetic programming points to the fact that you are most likely to feel comfortable and confident when you are shown what to do and act upon this awareness. Golf is a game of confidence - it either feels right or it doesn't, the club and ball look and feel right or they don't. When you are confident your rhythm is good, your swing is smooth, you are more likely to hit the ball out of the sweet spot and create the shot you desire...and this leads to feelings of achievement, satisfaction, pride...and ultimately greater enjoyment of the game, coupled with a sense of smug satisfaction that you can hit the ball a nice distance and keep it in play on the fairway, much to the envy of many a male golfer!
Confidence comes from knowing that you know what to do and practicing until what you are attempting becomes consistent. So practice between lessons, but make sure that its fun - get friends to go and practice as well, have a chat and a laugh along the way. See practice as a game as well, rather than a chore. Once you've learnt to hit the ball reasonably well, and you feel confident, and you have a measure of control, then you can start to take a few risks, explore different shots and challenge your boundaries. Take calculated "risks" in your game only when you have the confidence to do so. Taking unnecessary risks before you feel comfortable with your game is one very good way to destroy not only your confidence but your enjoyment and desire to play this great game.
Now...I have really, really generalized. If you are a lady who loves a challenge, thrives on risk, and likes to know the nuts and bolts of how everything works...then I'd prescribe a much more adventurous and innovative approach to the game. Take a look at www.instinctivegolf.com and consider this approach to coaching. It encourages you to learn through self exploration, as opposed to just being told what to do. You will learn to understand the complexities of this game, and explore, and continually push against boundaries to create an ever more creative and inspired game of golf.
Golf is a game, but most people will agree that they enjoy it more when they play better than when their game is in tatters. So recognize that golf is a game of confidence, become aware of your own preferred learning style and learn from within this basis of awareness. In this way you will be comfortable and confident and really enjoy your golf.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in golf hypnosis cds and hypnosis downloads.
How to Empower Your Expectations in Golf
It is important to keep fun in your golf game, because people do what they want to do. It you're having fun at the range, you'll want to go; it will no longer be a chore. It's also important to keep your enthusiasm up, and to do this you need to keep your eye on the bigger picture - your overall improvement, your overall game, your goals - thereby creating a sense of excitement and anticipation. These emotions of excitement, anticipation, and fun are what keep you going. It's your expectations which keep you going.
Have you noticed that a lot of professionals seem to reach their goals and then just seem to disappear off the radar? What's Duval done since he won the Open in 2001? Until that time he was generally in the running, and in all his interviews he made it clear his aim was to win a Major. Then he won his major. And then...what happened? It leads one to speculate that he hasn't really set a new goal for himself, or, if he has done, he doesn't believe he can achieve it; he doesn't expect to achieve it.
How you think about something creates an expectation in your mind and it is this expectation which will dictate what the outcome is. This is true about everything in life. You decide what you want to achieve but if you do not believe that it will materialize it won't. The formula for success in everything is to decide/ask for what you want to achieve, believe that it can be done/expect your desired outcome and then take action consistently towards that goal.
Duval set his goal to win a major and he expected to achieve that aim and therefore he did do so. It would appear that since then he either hasn't set major golfing goals OR doesn't have sufficient expectation/belief of achieving them.
And Duval's not the only one. Many professionals seem to win and then take a back seat. Perhaps they've reached a point where they've earned well and just want to enjoy life...But this presupposes that they no longer enjoy competitive golf. One thing for sure is that you won't win unless you enjoy the competition. Its one thing enjoying the game and playing good golf, it's quite another to enjoy the competition.
What are your expectations? As you stand on the tee what do you expect to happen? Do you expect the ball to fly down the middle of the fairway...or drift off into the trees? Do you expect to win the next pro-am you play in? Do you expect to earn well this year? The only way to succeed is to plan to succeed and enjoy your game and enjoy the competition and to expect to be the victor. That's a lot to ask for.
We all know what it feels like to hit a point where despondency takes over. The fun and enthusiasm dissipates and your goals seem to be getting further away from you instead of closer. How can you change your thoughts and your feelings in this type of situation? When you've lost your belief, lost your expectation, you are putting out a lot of negative energy and this negative energy works against you, creating a cycle of negative effect.
There are a couple of easy techniques which you can apply in this situation.
One option is to change the focus of your attention onto something completely different - distract yourself just as you would distract a child who has fallen and scraped their knee. Distract yourself and think of something nice and then at least the energy waves transmitted as a result of your thoughts are relaxed, calm, soothing and positive. The cycle of negative effect is immediately halted.
Another choice you have is to deliberately relax, maybe through meditation or by learning hypnosis through listening to hypnosis downloads, thereby creating a deeper sense of calm and peacefulness, allowing the energy waves which you are transmitting to become positive.
A third choice is to deliberately think of something really good, to refocus on the bigger picture and build up your positive expectations once again. You will probably find that you will only be able to do this once you have soothed and relaxed yourself via one or other of the first two techniques mentioned. The leap from dissatisfied and despondent to having a positive belief and expectation is usually too great for most people to muster without some form of stepping stone along the way.
It's up to you to create your emotional stepping stones...they don't just materialize out of no-where. So when you're feeling low, take the time to sooth and relax yourself, then reach for the best feeling thought you can believe in. Keep reaching then for more and more better feeling thoughts until your original goals are firmly fixed in your mind once again, aligned with a positive expectation to succeed.
As you use these simple techniques you will keep on top of your golf game and succeed in your goals.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in golf hypnosis cds and hypnosis downloads.
